Learning about the person

I was a troubled teen and I was constantly looking for someone to throw me a rope. Those ropes are connections. They allow us to see that life exists beyond the little worlds we are currently a part of.

Lauren Oliver

Learning to drive a car or ride a bike? They combine physical (coordination of multiple parts of the body), mental (concentration, seeking commonality with historical experiences) and emotional (frustration, fear, uncertainty, triumph)… It makes sense that using multiple senses really helps speed up the learning and connections in the brain. To progress from Conscious Unknowing to Unconscious Knowing.

What about really getting to know someone?

It too requires the physical (body language, pheromones, talking, active listening), mental (concentration, seeking commonality), and emotional (joy, reassurance, other)… doesn’t it? How else do we really “get to know and connect” with another?

If we consider the elements of communication – 70% body language, 20% tone, 10% words – isn’t the “in person” (e.g. body language) component the overriding factor?

As someone who first “met” her husband online, it was only when we really met – in person – that a connection was formed. This was when the person became more than just words on a screen, a figure in my imagination, or a disconnected voice over a phone. I’m not saying we cannot form some sort of connection, but is it enough?

Let’s Discuss

Is someone able to become a true member of our personal relationship network without some or all of these elements (physical, mental, emotional) being engaged?

If so – how does this work for you? How do you know when that bond of friendship has been formed?